Due to Frankenstorm, Luncheon and Party Will be Postponed to Friday, Nov. 2!
Part 1 or 3 :In Celebration of Halloween!
On Wednesday, Oct 31 (Halloween) at the Washington Press Club in D.C. Rodney Erickson will address a friendly audience and make some insipid remarks and then answer some softball questions about them. However, what the muted public wants to hear him answer are hardball questions, not just about the insufferable Draconian Sanctions per se, but, more important, about the atmosphere in Happy Valley that not only fostered a Jerry Sandusky to pray on so many victims for so very long but allowed his Second Mile Charity to expand unfettered from Centre County to all of the many other counties throughout the state.
To keep in the mood of Halloween and to keep everyone mindful of the seriousness of the offenses that Penn State’s administration is, indeed, guilty of, it would be befitting were Rodney to wear a jailbird outfit, say with number 112-107-0 on front and back, don a see-through translucent mask, and carry Lady Justice’s scale.
That would be so funny—so funny that the controlled press would be hard pressed to avoid the irony, i.e. the travesty of justice!
The luncheon will begin at half past noon; Rodney’s remarks (low keyed—no speech—unimportant ex post facto subject matter) should begin about one o’clock; and, about twenty minutes thereafter, of the scores of questions that could be asked, only the very same few that already have been asked time and time again—all centering superficially on the Death Sentence—will be asked, and they will be answered, evasively, exactly as before. At ten minutes to the hour, no doubt, the emcee, perhaps Mark Emmert himself, will interrupt the Q & A session saying to the audience something such as, “One last question, please, for we must vacate the dining hall no later than top of the hour, lest we all be turned into Pumpkins.” Attendees will moan wistfully but laugh and grab a last handful of candy corn and Rodney shall be left off the hook—surprise! surprise!—and Rodney will pretend he is a legitimate president!
Just so everyone knows, the overriding question that should be asked, but won’t be, is–why is this venue not University Park, where the university sits, rather than D.C., some 200 miles and four hours away? Perhaps Rodney does not want to bother Penn Staters with State Penn trivial matters? Moreover, to make sure that students do not forego invaluable study time following him to D.C., he has decided on a mid-week day for his friendly get-together!
The purpose of this so-called talk is to give the University’s Administrators the appearance, aided by the venal controlled Press, that the Good Ole Boys (and Girls) have nothing to hide, when, in fact, hiding the facts is exactly what they are endeavoring to accomplish with every fiber of their being—and doing a superb job, sad to say.
Erickson’s One and Only Singular Substantive Remark!
Aside from thanking the National Press Club for providing the remote venue (to mock justice) and commenting on the very tasty luncheon (especially the candy corn treats) and the beautiful fall weather, Rodney’s only other comment will be on the dreaded “Death Sentence.” He’ll give a plausible rendition of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby. Everyone will thrill and applaud robustly!
Likely, nay certainly, all of the screened questions will address his tall tale.
Wouldn’t it be funny, though, if someone could get a legit question in, such as asking Rodney point blank to comment on the similarity of the Board to The Emperor (Who) Wears No Clothes. Of course, Rodney would be taken aback (or rather pretend to be) and declare, not precisely, that an emperor, a university president, a governor, or a Board of Trustees member would dare not go nude in Happy Valley ever. Everyone will applaud robustly again!
And then Rodney will thank Coach Bill O’Brien for the wonderful job he has been doing! A chorus of devoted fans will bellow out, as though on cue, “We are—We are # 1“ and they will applaud robustly yet again!
And, if the rumor materializes, Rodney will propose that an obelisk (a scaled down version of the Washington Monument) be built as a testimony to the Board of Trustees’ adamantine stance against pedophilia, which would fill the void where Paterno’s statue previously stood. And then everyone will nod his head in approval and give Rodney a robust standing ovation! With that, the luncheon will draw to a close.
While on return to University Park on Penn State’s private airplane (once used for recruiting) Rodney will change into his court-jester outfit for the Halloween costume party* that the Board of Trustees, in concert with the Second Mile Charity, will throw in his honor. Louie Freeh and Mark Emmert are two of the many dignitaries** who are expected to be in attendance.
*Owing to propriety sake, no Jerry Sandusky masks will be allowed, no Lady Justice costumes will be allowed, no judges robes will be allowed, no Boy Scout costumes will be allowed, and no zebra suits will be allowed.
** Barack Obama and Joe Biden have been invited to the party and to campaign too but declined, being that Pennsylvania is no longer a swing state, but a foregone Democratic Win—that is, now that “Gary Rights” “Gays in the Military,” “Same-Sex Marriage,” and Abortion are hands-off non-debatable issues .
Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan were invited too but declined, even though were they to renounce the Draconian Sanctions they would doubtless win the state and, more important, as some pundits opine, more than likely win the national election.
Indeed the Sanctions issue is hot, too hot to handle, much hotter than Chic-Fil-A! The Gay Agenda appears paramount—evidently more important than the presidential election itself!)
Representing the Federal Government, discreetly of course, will be Board of Trustees Member and Member of the Council on Foreign Relations, CEO of Merck, Kenneth Frazier; newly elected Board of Trustees Member Ryan McCombie, connected to the Defense Intelligence Agency and the Army War College; of course,former FBI Director Louis Freeh; and one of the two other partners of the Freeh Investigative Group, Stanley Sporkin, a former legal counsel to the Central Intelligence Administration; and, last but not least, is the former President of Penn State, Graham Spanier, who holds a top security clearance, despite being front and center in the Jerry Sandusky Scandal but also in the Climate Gate Scandal too.
Nature of the Various Pertinent Questions That Will Not Be Asked
There are five kinds of pertinent questions that will not be asked. The first kind appertains to ethics and legality. The second kind appertains, mainly, to the hiring of Louis Freeh’s Investigative Group and the delimited report, having findings that are impermissible in a court of law. The third kind appertains to the administration’s foreknowledge of Jerry Sandusky’s deviant sexual proclivities and the university’s close ties to Jerry’s infamous Second Mile Charity. The fourth kind appertains, in general, to the unpropitious timing of coach Joe Paterno’s firing and the speedy but yet unnecessary acceptance of the consent decree and the likewise hasty hiring of Bill O’Brien—who, although now has convincingly proven his coaching ability, had had no head coaching experience at the time. The fifth kind appertains to the worthiness of the Board of Trustees.